Confessions of a Control Freak Wife

It all started last week when Peet told me I wouldn’t be going in to work this Thursday since it’s my birthday. Apparently, he’s planned a little surprise. Now, don’t get me wrong – I love the fact that my hubby wants to do things like this for me. Love that. The thing that freaked me out was the fact that he’d already spoken with my boss and approved my time off without me knowing. Why the blazes is that such a big deal for me??

Apparently, I don’t like the feeling of someone else handling my schedule without me. I tried to protest, like an ungrateful chickie. I felt like I was losing my grip on life, and I wanted to clamor and grab for it even more intently. As the external me tried to convince both Peet and myself that I was excited… the internal me was running through the corridors of my work day, thinking through all the ramifications of not being there for 24 hours.

I got over it. I even began to look forward to the surprise. And I felt a certain sense of achievement that I’d made peace with the whole “someone messing with my schedule” thang.

But then yesterday happened. As I was leaving the house for work, Peet tells me that I won’t be going in on Wednesday, either. What??? I have things to do, projects to work on, deadlines to meet, people to see, emails to send, problems to solve… right? And what about my boss? He’s about to go on vacation next week, so this is really bad timing for me to be working such a short week. Uh huh. Peet had already cleared it with him last week.

Aaaaaaaand here we go again… struggling with the feeling that my life is unravelling before me like one of Max’s toy ropes and I can’t grab it fast enough before it gets left in shreds.

I thought my control-freakish tendencies had declined over recent years. Surprise!! Apparently not. Apparently, it’s the curve balls being thrown at me that have taken a break, giving me the illusion that I could go with the flow. I guess I still have a way to go.

OK – confession over. Now, if you’ll excuse me… I need to go beat the rest of the surprise out of my husband…